George Bush In Heaven
George Bush has a heart attack, dies, and goes to hell where he’s confronted by the devil. “I don’t know what to do,” says the devil. “You’re on my list… but I don’t have any room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m gonna to do. I’ve got three folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you, I’ll let one of them go but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide (since you are, afterall, the DECIDER) who leaves.
George thought the deal sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened a door to the first room, in it was Richard Nixon in a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
“No!” George said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and don’t think I could do that all day long.”
The devil led him to the next room, in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
“No, I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all could do was break rocks all day!” commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In that room George saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms over his head, and his legs spread in an eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and, finally, said “Yeah, I can handle this.”
The devil smiled and said, “OK, Monica, you’re free to go!”