Memorable Jokes

A source of Good humor, Jokes, Funny pictures and giggles and through laughter we can lead the world to health, happiness, and peace.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The trouble with virgin men

Njoroge gets married, and on his wedding night calls his father to get some tips on what to do since he had never been with a woman before.
"So what do I do first?"
His father: "Take her clothes off and lay her on the bed"

5 minutes later Njoroge is on the phone again.
"She's naked and in bed what do I do now?" His father can't believe what he is hearing,
"Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her."

After another 5 minutes Njoroge is on the phone again.
" Dad, I'm naked and in bed with her, what do I do now?" His father's patience is now running out so he says,
"**** son, do I have to spell everything out to you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees. Good night !!!!

" Just when his father starts snoring, his son is on the phone again.
"OK Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do now?"
"Drown yourself, you bloody idiot!"

Friday, March 20, 2009

9 Things I HATE About Everyone...

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at your crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, "did you see that?" No Loser, I paid 450sh to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya?

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Tafakari ya Babu

Another from Swaleh Mdoe;
Niki angalia kopo langu la saa, naona saa moja imekatika dakika takriban
Kumi na kenda.....

Siku moja.....Babu alipimwa damu kwa kidole na nurse ikawa damu haitoki.
Ilimbidi nurse amnyonye kidole ndiyo damu itoke. Babu kuona raha akasema
mkojo pia haitoki....