Memorable Jokes

A source of Good humor, Jokes, Funny pictures and giggles and through laughter we can lead the world to health, happiness, and peace.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

No immediate ruling in Jackson cause of death

Police are looking for Michael Jackson's personal physician but have been unable to contact him, they said Friday. The doctor's car was towed from Jackson's home Thursday and impounded, authorities said.

The car may contain "medications pertinent to the investigation" into Jackson's death, said detective Agustin Villanueva of Los Angeles Police Department.

Police did not release the doctors name.

Authorities said Friday the cause of Michael Jackson's death will not be determined officially for weeks.

The superstar's sudden death Thursday at age 50 left a family devastated, an industry stunned and legions of fans lost. It also left a glaring question: What happened?

"The likelihood is very slim that we will have any results to release today because of the extensive level of the tests that we're going to be performing," said Ed Winter, assistant chief of the Los Angeles coroners office.

The results of toxicology tests are expected in six to eight weeks, he said, adding that the cause of death will be determined when all results come in.

Initial autopsy results could show whether Jackson had an underlying heart condition, medical experts say.

There are questions over whether Jackson's death may have involved medication.

Brian Oxman, a former attorney for the Jackson family who was with the family in the hospital emergency room on Thursday, told CNN he had been concerned about medications the pop star was taking.

"I talked to this family about it, I warned them. I said that Michael is overmedicating and that I did not want to see this kind of a case develop," Oxman told CNN's "American Morning" on Friday.

He referred to Anna Nicole Smith, the former model and reality TV show star who died of an overdose in 2007.

"I said, 'If that's what's going to happen to Michael, it's all going to break our hearts.' And my worst fears are here."

Oxman emphasized that he does not know what killed Jackson, and was not making accusations against any individual.

Jackson was in apparent cardiac arrest when paramedics rushed him Thursday from his home to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, where a team of physicians tried to resuscitate him for more than an hour, according to Jackson's brother Jermaine. He said the music idol was pronounced dead at 2:26 p.m.

The night before he had complained of not feeling well, brother Marlon Jackson said.

He told CNN on Thursday about his conversation with Jackson's manager Frank Dileo. On Wednesday night, Jackson said he was not feeling well, so his doctor went to see him. "Frank said, 'Marlon, from last night to this morning, I don't know what happened.' When they got to him this morning, he wasn't breathing."

The troubled icon had been preparing for a comeback tour, aimed at extending his legendary career and helping to pay off hundreds of millions of dollars in debt.

Michael Jackson began his professional work at age 5, singing with his brothers before shooting to superstardom as a solo artist. He had numerous No. 1 hits, the best known being "Thriller."

"Thriller" was the best-selling album of all time, at an estimated 50 million copies worldwide.

After dominating the popular music scene for years, Jackson became reclusive and mired in scandals that included child molestation charges. He was acquitted after a highly publicized trial in Santa Maria, California, in March 2006.

Last year, Jackson announced a comeback tour that was to start in July. When some of the shows were postponed till next year, rumors spread that the entertainer was weak and suffering from skin cancer.

But Marlon Jackson said he last saw his younger brother at a May 14 family gathering and he "looked great."

"He was looking well. He was getting ready to go into rehearsals for his tour. I don't know what happened," Marlon Jackson said.

The most famous of Michael Jackson's eight siblings, Janet, issued a statement through her manager.

"Janet Jackson is grief-stricken and devastated at the sudden loss of her brother," said Kenneth Crear. "She is ... flying immediately to California to be with her family."

A large crowd gathered outside the hospital, while in New York a huge crowd gathered outside the Apollo Theater.

Around the world, fans reacted with sadness. iReport.com: Share your Michael Jackson memories

Some, including actress Elizabeth Taylor and musician Stevie Wonder, were too distraught to issue statements.

Producer Quincy Jones, who helped Jackson craft his hit albums "Off the Wall" and "Thriller," said, "I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news.

"For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words," Jones added in a statement.

Jackson's music continues to be heard throughout the world "because he had it all -- talent, grace, professionalism and dedication," Jones said. He called Jackson a consummate entertainer, whose legacy will be felt around the world.

"I've lost my little brother today and part of my soul has gone with him," Jones said.

Berry Gordy, producer and founder of Motown Records, said Jackson's death was "like a bad dream."

"As a kid, Michael was always beyond his years. He was an innovator. He was a genius at what he did," Gordy said. "He had a knowingness about him. At 9 years old, when I first started working with him, he seemed to me like he had been here before. He was just so knowledgeable about life."

Jackson's former wife, Lisa Marie Presley, said she was "shocked and saddened" by his death.

"My heart goes out to his children and his family," she said.

Jackson is survived by his three children, Prince Michael I, Paris and Prince Michael II.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

MR. OMWAMI

Omwami bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

============ ========= ========= ======
Omwami: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Omwami: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
============ ========= ========= ========= ===
Omwami: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Omwami : Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is the final game.
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Omwami : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Omwami : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Omwami : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Omwami : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again..
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Omwami complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How come the thief did not take TV?'
Omwami : 'I was watching TV news...'
============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Omwami comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for the compliment.'
============ ========= ========= ========= ======
How do you recognize Omwami in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========
Once Omwami was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast ann ounced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
Omwami in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Omwami : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup

Omwami - If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Omwami : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
Omwami told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'

Omwami: 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Little Johnny... Finding Jesus

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

The Chinese Investigator

(Read in your best chinese accent)

A man hires a chinese Private Investigator, Chen Lee, to watch his wife .

A few days later the man gets this report:
Sir.
I watch house.
You leave house.
He came to house.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she go hotel.
I climb tree and look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip.
She strip.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
I fall out tree.
I not see.
No fee.

Chen Lee.
Weely Sollee.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Meaning of Period

Teacher: Do u know the importance of period?

Kid: yes, once ma sis said she had missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away