Memorable Jokes

A source of Good humor, Jokes, Funny pictures and giggles and through laughter we can lead the world to health, happiness, and peace.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Bikers

A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the
front. He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikers, one with his fingers up the
butt of the other.

"So what's going on here?" he a...sks.

The biker replies, "My mate here has had too much to drink and I'm trying to make him vomit."

The cop says, "I think you should be sticking your fingers down his throat."

The biker replies, "That's what I'm going to do next!"


Dinner party

A new employee was invited to the boss's house for dinner, as a way of
welcoming him into the company. After they had eaten a large meal, the
new employee leaned sideways on his chair and let an almighty fart at
the dinner table.

The boss, with a lo...ok of disgust, turned to the man and said, "How dare
you fart before my wife?!"

The guy replied, "Sorry - I didn't realize it was her turn!"


Friday, October 09, 2009

The pastor’s Ass

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read;

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race…

The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey..

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby Convent..

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted!

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for 10$.

The next day the papers read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR 10$.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Machine Wash -vs- Hand Wash

A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of "having sex."This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept.

Well, the first night of their honeymoon was wonderful. They "did the laundry" 5 times that first night. In the middle of the night the new husband woke up, and he was ready to do the laundry again. He gently shook his new wife and asked her, "Can we do the laundry again?" but she was very tired. She told him that she just couldn't do it again just yet. Maybe in the morning.

A few hours later the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. What he had asked for wasn't unreasonable, and she decided she should go ahead and "do the laundry" with him again. She gently shook him and said, "Honey, I'm sorry I denied you... We can do the laundry again if you want,"

He replied, "That's ok... It was a small load... I did it by hand."

Hahahahaha!