Memorable Jokes

A source of Good humor, Jokes, Funny pictures and giggles and through laughter we can lead the world to health, happiness, and peace.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

How to Impress a Woman/Man

How to Impress a Woman:
compliment
her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.

How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.

Speaking a Woman's Language

CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine.

I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
... without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven't had a fight in a while.

I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can't believe you have nothing planned.

I LIKE YOU, BUT...
I don't like you.

OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
... just not in that way.

YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.

WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
I'm not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.

OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
There's no way I'm letting you think this is a date.

OH YES! RIGHT THERE!
Well, near there, I just want to get this over with.

I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
We're gonna get drunk and make fun of you and your friends.